Local man, Dan Tan, has tied himself to a local school’s basketball net amidst plans to tear it down and build a car park.
The Bushey resident has been openly sneaking in after hours to play ball during the summer, taking advantage of six beautiful nets on the outdoor court.
“I turned up for my regular session and all the gates had been locked. My initial reaction was ‘OK college boy, eh?’ – that won’t stop me, I’ve been jumping fences for years. One of the advantages of being a basketball player is having long legs and the ability to jump.”
“I showed up at the court and found they have started demolishing the courts to make the car park bigger. My reaction was Jeez, I can take a hint, just ask me not to play anymore, you don’t have to tear the place down.”
“In moral protest, I have to take action. I’ve been listening to a lot of Bob Marley lately so am feeling empowered. Tying myself to this hoop was a no-brainer. It is my human rights to play ball, the same way the Beastie Boys have a right to party. And this is one of the best things I’ve done to date – being Head Boy, running a business and having a child aside for the moment.”
Tan once had huge prospects as a pro basketballer, only realising that he wasn’t nearly good enough to make it.
Art Vandelay, who heads up the construction project for the school commented:
“This is such a pathetic waste of time and this type of action is nothing more than a response from a poor example of a human being.”
“In all my years, I have never anything so diabolical and I used to work for the Labour party.”