Move Over Millennials! Baby Boom Expected and Kids to be Known as ‘Coronials’

Amongst the Coronavirus chaos, it is important that we try and focus on the good news we can find and the nuggets of happiness everyone needs. Thus, we are likely expecting quite some new life in the form of a ‘corona baby boom,’ who will inevitably become a new generation of ‘Quaranteens’ some years later, according to many experts (check out our COVID19 Coronavirus information section).

With a 2-week lockdown on the table, fledgling couples will be looking for ways to past the time – although many are hoping for Netflix and Amazon Prime to pick up the slack. With couples estimated to be preparing to spend up to an extra 8 hours a day together, the potential for intimacy clearly proving very promising, with companies such as Lovehoney already having seen a surge in orders for sex toys as a result of Coronavirus.

The potential baby boom could see a dramatic rise in number of children looking for school places in 2025, increased competition for 11+ entrance exams in 2032 and a surge in barmitzvahs in 2034 as this likely-new generation on the way move from their ‘Coronial’ phase of life into their ‘Quaranteens.’

As multi-award-winning singer songwriter Machine Gun Kelly put it recently (although rather more explicitly): “people are going to be ‘doing it’ because you only have to be careful of the face and ‘kissing’…” He might not be a scientist or fertility expert, but many people do think he is onto something.

“There could be a disproportionate amount of Barmitzvahs in 2034”

Millennials will soon have to stop moaning about there being no oat milk for their lattes. The Millennial generation will inevitably become a thing of the past and the new wave of offspring, many of whom will be spawned from the very same Millenials will soon be known as ‘Coronials.’ Seeing as in Jewish tradition, boys have their Barmitzvah (‘a coming of age’ as they enter their [Quaran]teen years) at the age of 13, there is likely to be a huge increase in the numbers of Jewish boys having Barmitzvahs in 2034.

Divorce lawyers have also cited a potential rise in divorce cases for later this year, referencing the increased claustrophobia and time that couples may spend at home together, which may be pressed with extra budgeting and financial woes if income levels are drastically affected by the Coronavirus, although we all of course hope they do not.

Other industries and products seeing an uplift include the ordering of laptops for staff members working from home, online pornography subscriptions, home delivered coffee subscriptions, sign ups to VPNs (virtual private networks) and faster internet connection packages and home gym equipment.

So take off those rubber gloves, turn off your laptop and put down the Dettol-sprayed Netflix remote, because a new baby boom is on the way and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

Even America are getting in on the action it seems and where the USA lead, much of the world follows…